What Slowed You Down?
John 20:1-4
1 Now the first day of the week Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.
2 Then she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and said to them, "They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him."
3 Peter therefore went out, and the other disciple, and were going to the tomb.
4 So they both ran together, and the other disciple outran Peter and came to the tomb first.
5 And he, stooping down and looking in, saw the linen cloths lying there; yet he did not go in.
6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; and he saw the linen cloths lying there,
7 and the handkerchief that had been around His head, not lying with the linen cloths, but folded together in a place by itself.
8 Then the other disciple, who came to the tomb first, went in also; and he saw and believed.
9 For as yet they did not know the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead.
10 Then the disciples went away again to their own homes.
Many have surmised that John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was fitter than Peter. They assume his fitness enabled him to reach the tomb first. While this may be true, I suspect that something slowed Peter’s steps. After all, this was the tomb of the One he denied. This was the Master he had failed and the Redeemer he had let suffer alone. I suspect that as he ran, the memories of the last three days flooded Peter’s soul and slowed his steps.
When we fail the ones we love, betray trust, and destroy our own integrity, the journey is hard, and progress is slow. We relive the moments, condemn our thoughtlessness, and avoid contact with those we hurt. Caught within the confines of our own humanity, we long for help, yet shun the light that hope brings. We don’t want to talk, yet endless conversations fill our mind. We dare not believe, yet the longing for answers echoes within our wordless prayers.
Peter sees the empty tomb, the folded grave clothes and simply returns home. Home means comfort and relief, the security of the known, and a place to process and regroup. “Home” is where our heart goes when it is overwhelmed by memories, confused by circumstances, and longing for answers it cannot find. For some it’s a dwelling. For others it’s a location, a mental space, or another reality - a place of escape and a way to numb the ache within.
Peter did not know that He must rise again from the dead. He did not know that on the other side of death is life. In the place of our greatest defeat is the seed for our future victory. Visions of failure, memories of fire-lit conversations and oath peppered denials had slackened his pace and now plagued his mind. Peter had discovered his weakness. Now he was poised to learn of greatness.
Jesus had taught the disciples for three years. He had poured into these men and revealed the ways of His kingdom. Blinded by his zeal and spurred on by the knowledge of who Jesus was, Peter gladly walked with Christ. The anointing was powerful, the impact tangible. The heart had yet to learn however that though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41, Mark 14:38). Human strength and self-assertion may boast of greatness, but promises of loyalty are easily broken when anchored in self ( Mark 14:29-31).
John records in the next chapter, the restoration of a broken man.
John 21:3-7
3 Simon Peter said to them, "I am going fishing." They said to him, "We are going with you also." They went out and immediately got into the boat, and that night they caught nothing.
4 But when the morning had now come, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.
5 Then Jesus said to them, "Children, have you any food?" They answered Him, "No."
6 And He said to them, "Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast, and now they were not able to draw it in because of the multitude of fish.
7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea.
Peter had gone fishing. His journey back home had led him to pursue the familiar. We are not told of the depth of emotion, or the inner thoughts behind Peter’s statement, “I am going fishing.” But those who have walked the path of failure, or stumbled in the pursuit of a dream, know the lure of the uncomplicated and the solace of the mundane. A life with no expectations or demands beckons to all who have faltered.
Nights of escape and mindless activity will always fail to yield the results we were born to produce. It’s in the light of the dawn that we hear a voice reminding us of who we are. Before Jesus addresses Peter’s failure, He reminds him who he is. Years before, a tired, unproductive, and disinterested man had come face to face with his Lord. Empty nets were filled through a simple act of obedience, and his heart had yielded to the One he pledged to follow (Luke 5: 4-11). Once again, he meets the One who believes in him when he no longer believes in himself. He is reminded that the Lord can accomplish through surrender what we fail to do through self-effort.
Jesus comes to our place of security and escape. When our race has been hindered and our progress is slow, there is One who seeks for us. When we do not know how to find Him, He finds us. Encountering His presence, we discover who we are. With nailed pierced hands, He removes the sin and shame from our broken hearts. He reveals and restores that we might run again.
Consider:
Is there an event or failure in your life that has hindered you from running after God?
Are you running after your dream, or have you been lured by the familiar and the comfort of the mundane?
Prayer Prompts:
Jesus I thank You that when I don’t know how to find You, You find me. Speak to my heart for I cannot see my way forward from here.
I’ve disappointed myself and others. How do You see me Jesus?
All my efforts feel in vain. Lord help me to see what You are doing in and through me, so I can move in simple obedience to You.
